I deserved to be the centre of attention
What is your story?
I have been on the yo-yo dieting roundabout since I was 15 years old. I’d lose 5kg and gain 7kg, lose 10kg put on12kg. I was never happy with what I saw in the mirror and would focus on what I saw as imperfections and flaws. I would avoid having my picture taken, hide under big baggy clothes and cover-up at the beach. I believed my body was too big to be attractive, and I felt invisible and unworthy under the layer of fat I was hiding in.
Then a few years ago after 30 years of self-hate, I found myself ready to make a change. I decided enough was enough and I was going to finally accept myself and accept my body the way it is. I GAVE UP!! I gave up trying to please others, gave up trying to fit the ‘ideal’ body mould set by media and marketing, and I GAVE UP DIETING and the obsession with the scales. Instead, I started working on my mindset, and with the help of a few friends and mentors, I started to see myself differently.
I changed my mind, instead of trying to change my body.
Now I go to the beach in a bikini, I wear figure-hugging clothes, I can look at myself naked and like what I see, I feel sexy and beautiful, and I love being in front of the camera.
Although the change in my mindset, and my happiness has been immense (people who knew me then wouldn’t recognise me now!), I know I still have more work to do, and while I continue to work on myself, I really want to help other women to have this change in self-confidence, and start to see themselves as beautiful, amazing creatures they are.
Why did you want to do a boudoir shoot?
I feel sexy for the first time in my life. I felt like I deserved to treat myself, after decades of neglect and abuse. I love Marina’s work; the black and white images are breathtakingly beautiful.
What was the location of your shoot and why did you choose it?
My shoot was at a secluded little beach in Coolum, with amazing rock pools. I was guided by Marina in the choice, but I knew I wanted to have a shoot in nature. I’m obsessed with textures, and I wanted to explore the art of soft pale skin contrasted against the hard dark rock.
How did you feel preparing for the session?
I didn’t feel I prepared much at all. I was ready in my mind, and I trusted Marina’s advice and vision. I just turned up ready to take her direction.
What was it like to be naked/ half-naked in front of the camera?
I am so comfortable in my own skin now that nudity doesn’t bother me, in fact, I love the freedom of being naked. I knew Marina would take intimate but tasteful shots.
How did you feel after the session?
After the session, I was buzzing for days. I felt so amazing at the moment like a goddess, like I deserved to be the centre of attention, and I felt beautiful and amazing.
What have you thought when you saw your images for the first time?
To be honest, it was really confronting as the images are raw and untouched. As far as I had come, I struggled with seeing myself as I am, and on first look, all I saw was my ‘flaws’. But that feeling was short-lived. The more I looked at the images, those ‘flaws’ faded away and I began to see what everyone else sees. I began to be reminded of how I felt at that moment, and once I chose my favourite images to include in my album, I was in love with them all.
Would you do it again?
In a heartbeat!
Would you recommend a boudoir shoot to other women/men and why?
The experience of feeling sexy and beautiful at that moment is worth it for one, but then you can also walk away with beautiful artistic images that you can treasure forever, a reminder that you deserve to feel this amazing
Do you have any tips for women/men who are planning to do a boudoir shoot?
Relax, and just do it! Marina’s work is proof she is an artist and she will treat your body as the work of art that it is, and capture it on film in the most beautiful way. Enjoy every second, and remember YOU DESERVE THIS!
by Mandy - Brand Ambassador
