The Gift Of Touch

She shuffled into the room, her head was tilted forward, her shoulders rounded, she made brief eye contact as I greeted her but mostly her eyes were downcast.  I asked her to change and hop up onto the treatment bed, I could tell she was self conscious but I assured her as I left the room briefly. I returned and began her treatment, it was to be a mini facial, a relatively quick treatment booked and paid for by an organisation that offers aid and respite to full-time Carers. My mini facials include a little massage focussing on the décolletage, forehead and the points around the eyes where our stress likes to hide. She lay there quietly, her eyes closed. I added in a hand and forearm massage and could feel the stress and tension in the muscles of her hands, hands that spoke to me of life that hadn't been easy.  No words were exchanged by the time her treatment was complete, I left her to change and asked her to meet me outside.  She emerged from the room and her eyes were shining, a warm smile had crept across her face.  She reached out unexpectedly and wrapped her arms around me in a warm embrace.  “It's been a very long time since anyone has touched me with such tenderness,” she said as she looked directly into my eyes. “Thank you, sweetheart, that was beautiful and you made me feel so special.” I was moved beyond words, so grateful to have been given that opportunity, so humbled and once again reminded just how powerful human touch is.

Touch is the first sense we experience as newborns and then it instantly becomes the ultimate connection between us and others, it is emotionally central throughout our lives.  Touch is a language of its own. There have been many studies into touch resulting in science backed truths about it’s power.  It heals, it nourishes and it soothes.  It has been proven to greatly affect our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, it’s a fundamental part of our experience as humans. So why then do so many of us travel through life without reaching out or being reached out to?  Even some individuals in marriages will go for long periods of time without so much as a heartfelt hug, sad but true and more common than most would think.

 Sadly we live in a touch-phobic society, touch can often be misread so of course, it needs to be appropriate and feel safe and I’m not referring to sensual touch here... (that’s a whole other blog post,)  I’m talking about a gentle touch of a forearm, a pat or rub on the back, a squeeze of a hand, a reassuring arm around ones shoulders... these simple gestures can make all the difference ensuring others in our lives feel seen, heard, connected and appreciated.

 A warm touch has been proven to lower stress hormones and stimulate the release of oxytocin which enhances a sense of trust and attachment.  Not only is touch extremely important in our personal relationships but it’s also very powerful in building trust with others in business. A successful business relies on strong relationships, relationships rely on trust and human connection and connection includes touch... this is why we shake hands in business.

 So what about you?  When was the last time you really felt heard and connected to another human being particularly on the receiving end? Also when was the last time you prioritised yourself? Everyone I speak to is so very busy…. and few take time for themselves.  Not only are we running busy homes and juggling demanding jobs but many of us must find time to be present with our children who absolutely need Mothers who are engaged. Plus we need to ensure our precious love relationships receive the quality time they require to survive. When do you get what you need to feel nourished, connected and rewarded for all that you do?  If we don’t prioritise and take the time for us then it usually doesn’t happen or at least very rarely.

 Studies have shown that the person reaching out benefits just as much as the person being reached out to. I am so lucky in my work as I get the privilege of making a difference with touch by offering hands on treatments to my beautiful clients but the thing is...I benefit too, my work is extremely rewarding and enriching.  I ensure that I all my leg waxes and eyebrow shapes are completed with a little massage. Massage treatments are often looked on as an extravagance which is such a shame as I believe they should be a regular occurrence and part of our mind and body maintenance. Yes I’m a therapist and this is my business but I’m also a busy single mother who needs and appreciates the power of touch in my life.  It is important that I feel nourished so I can give back to those around me and be the best version of myself... I want that for you too.

 I challenge you to reach out more... lightly touch someone’s hand when you thank them from behind a counter.  Add a light shoulder or forearm squeeze to that ”hi!” as you pass that other mum at the school gate. Give that friend a proper hug not just an air kiss next time you see them.  Crouch down with your children, look them in the eye and hold them with both hands when they tell you something about their day.  Stop for a minute and embrace your partner when catching up on the day's events.  And lastly but most importantly take time out for you in the form of a touch treatment, a body massage, a relaxation facial, a hand or foot treatment.  It will nourish you I promise and please remember, you are totally worth it!

About author:

Joanna has been a massage therapis and beautician for 25 years. Her aim is to offer TREATments rather than appointments, to build relationships rather than a client base.

If you would like to get in touch with Joanna you can find her here:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/joannaoneillhomesalon

Phone: 0405 428 420