My story is similar to many other women

My story is probably quite similar to many other women: years of social conditioning from a young age; constant self-criticism, judgement and comparisons to others; expectations on how I should look and “be” and no sense of understanding of the concept of self-love...And as long as I could remember I had a low self-esteem and lots of self-doubt about the physical aspects of my body which then transpired into the realms of my emotional and mental wellbeing; how I lived my life and how I felt about myself...

But I believe that things in life always happen for a reason...I don’t believe in coincidences, so when I saw Marina’s call for new Brand Ambassadors for her photography business, I just jumped on it without thinking twice about it at all…I was already inspired by a close friend, who had an amazing Boudoir shoot with Marina, as well as knowing about Marina’s “Naked Face photography” and “Everybody is a beach body” projects.

I was unable to participate in the projects so far, so this time I was not letting the opportunity and privilege to work with Marina get away….

I also realised that the biggest inspiration and motivation to do this project was thanks to my new partner, who has (ever since crossing our paths in life) been empowering me on so many levels...His love and affection; his reassuring, caring, supportive words and his kindness and adoration has made me feel so amazing again!! Amazing and beautiful both on the inside and the outside! Everything I disliked about myself, he loves and adores… I truly feel that through the authenticity of his words and actions.. It helped me to stop self-sabotaging myself in the belief I was not worthy of being loved again or even being lovable….With his love and support I started to see myself again as the Goddess I am; who I always was…I started remembering who I always was. And that I wasn’t broken and needed fixing… Yes, I was heartbroken as my long term marriage ended and I was kinda lost, but I found myself again…so much so that I am finally starting to see and truly love myself completely and accepting and appreciating my body as a beautiful whole and unique to me.

Being in this headspace and feeling this way gave me the courage to get involved with Marina’s project and do the photoshoot.

Being involved with Marina on this project has truly been a beginning of a celebration of me as the woman I always was, remembering me again! (because I forgot for a while!!)

Choosing the Boudoir style and location was fairly simple and straightforward as I knew my connection with nature was where I would feel the most comfortable. I immediately thought of Currumbin Valley and specifically a spot that was a favourite place for me to get grounded and be relaxed. I needed to be surrounded by trees and I knew that the soothing sounds of the creek would connect beautifully with the musical instruments we were going to incorporate into the photo shoot.

As I was juggling many hats in the days prior to the photoshoot, I didn’t get the time I wanted to prepare myself mentally and physically. I knew I had to organise and prepare all my musical instruments and that got me focused well enough to wipe any fears and nerves around that.

The idea of being photographed half/naked or fully naked was pretty daunting for me and I didn’t really know how I would feel about it...In the beginning, I tried to keep cool, calm and collected on the outside, but I was battling with my internal dialogue of “Am I really doing this?”

Marina made me feel very comfortable and so at ease right from the beginning so I just simply went with the flow; I embraced the unknown and surrendered to the process. I came into it with an open mind and a willingness to embrace and discover something new about myself.

Right after the session finished I felt a weird sense of relief, kind of an unbelievable sense of accomplishment that we pulled that off (and that I survived a naked shoot in the forest in the middle of winter)... But I actually really felt quite amazed that I did go through with it… It was kind of a sense of awe and a feeling of joy, pride, wonder. Also, there was a bit of curiosity about how it all was going to turn out and what else is yet to come from this…

So, would I do it again? Absolutely!! In fact, I am already planning a different style Boudoir shoot….This time I am getting inspired by Marina’s beautifully presented website full of truly mind-blowing array of heartfelt, raw and authentic stories of women and men that she captured so eloquently and naturally through her artistic lens...Marina is also very open to all kinds of suggestions and ideas as she loves any input and she will always try to make it work.

When it came to finally see the photographs for the first time, my fears of self-doubt crept up again and I was very nervous and anxious. It was quite emotional seeing the little slide show of all the images... It was a wow moment again, but this time it was real, as I really saw myself in them… I actually got quite overwhelmed but in a sort of amazing way...I was blown away seeing the essence of the true, raw, vulnerable me ….I cried and smiled at the same time. It was so hard to pick my favourites, as I loved all the images. I realised I wasn’t looking at myself with the always and ever so judging eyes.

Captured through Marina’s lens I saw myself, finally meeting and seeing me for the first time ever, with an endless amount of self-love, pride and joy...

by Gabriela