MY BODY IS NOT FOR LOOKING AT.
MY BODY IS NOT FOR LOOKING AT.
IT’S FOR ME TO LIVE IN.
I STARTED GROWING MY BODY HAIR OUT AS A PERSONAL EXPERIMENT. IT WAS PART OF A BIGGER PERIOD OF QUESTIONING AND BECOMING WHICH UNRAVELLED DURING THE WILD RIDE THAT WAS 2020. I QUIT MY JOB, STOPPED WEARING MAKEUP. I WANTED TO SEE IF, WITHOUT ALL THE BOISTEROUS LIFE-CLUTTER OF BUSYNESS AND ENDLESS STRIVING, I COULD FEEL AND TRULY KNOW I WAS ENOUGH.
I WONDERED IF I WOULD STILL FEEL “PRETTY” AND “SEXY” AND “WANTED” AND IF PEOPLE WOULD COMMENT OR STARE.
I WAS PRETTY SCARRED BY A VIVID MEMORY OF A MIDDLE-AGED CIS WHITE MALE COLLEAGUE COMMENTING ON MY LEG HAIR. I WAS MY EARLY TWENTIES, IN MY FIRST “PROPER” JOB, IN A CORPORATE PENCIL SKIRT AND HEELS, IN AN INNER-CITY OFFICE. I WAS WAXING MY LEGS AT THE TIME AND I’D PROBABLY STRETCHED IT A BIT BETWEEN APPOINTMENTS (BY PAST-ME’S STANDARDS!). HE LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN AND SAID CONDESCENDINGLY IN OUR OPEN PLAN OFFICE, ‘IT’S SUMMER NOW, DARLING, YOU CAN SHAVE YOUR LEGS NOW!’. I WAS MORTIFIED AND TOO STUNNED TO RESPOND.
SO, I EXPECTED GROWING MY BODY HAIR TO BE A BATTLE. I PREPARED RETORTS AND COMEBACKS AND CARRIED THEM AROUND ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE, READY TO WAGE WAR. I WAITED FOR REMARKS AND STARES. AND TO MY SURPRISE, THEY NEVER CAME!
NOT FROM PEOPLE ON THE STREET, MY PARTNER, FRIENDS OR FAMILY. (TO BE FAIR MY SISTERS AND A COUPLE OF CLOSE FRIENDS ASKED ME ABOUT IT, BUT ONLY TO SHOW THEIR SUPPORT.) THAT PROBABLY SAYS MORE ABOUT THE PEOPLE I SURROUND MYSELF WITH, BUT I RESENT HOW SHOCKED I AM.
BECAUSE SOMETHING I’VE LEARNT IS THAT NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO COMMENT ON ANYONE’S BODY. YOUR BODY IS FOR NO ONE BUT YOURSELF.
IT’S TRUE FOR EVERYONE BUT DOUBLY SO FOR WOMEN, WHO ALREADY HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THANKS TO CAPITALISM AND PATRIARCHY AND THE IDEA PERPETUATED BY BOTH OF THEM THAT WOMEN ARE NOTHING IF THEY AREN’T “BEAUTIFUL” BY THEIR STANDARDS! I ALSO WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT’S A HUGE PRIVILEGE TO BE ABLE TO GROW MY BODY HAIR; I UNDERSTAND IT SIMPLY WOULDN’T BE POSSIBLE FOR MANY WOMEN FOR THESE REASONS.
HOWEVER, IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT EMBRACING YOUR NATURAL BODY HAIR, I CAN 100% RECOMMEND IT! I SEE IT AS A BIG F U TO THE PATRIARCHY -MY NEW RULE OF THUMB IS: IF BOYS DON’T HAVE TO DO IT, WHY SHOULD I? I’VE PERSONALLY FOUND IT LIBERATING AND IT’S HELPED ME START RECLAIMING MY BODY FOR MYSELF. SO JOIN THE PROVERBIAL CLUB! OR MAYBE WE CAN ACTUALLY START ONE! WE COULD CALL IT: HAGS AGAINST INJURIOUS REMOVAL OF YOUR BODY HAIR OR THE HAIRY-BS FOR SHORT <3.
I’M REALLY THANKFUL FOR THE WOMEN I’VE ADMIRED FROM AFAR, ALREADY WEARING THEIR BODY HAIR OUT AND PROUD. ONE BEAUTIFUL MOMENT STICKS OUT IN MY MIND - IT WAS AT A QUEER TRIVIA NIGHT I RELIGIOUSLY ATTENDED. I REALLY LOVED GOING BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH A WARM AND WELCOMING SPACE. A WOMAN ON A RIVAL TEAM WAS WEARING HAIR ON HER LEGS AND A CUTE SUMMER DRESS. HER FRIENDS WERE PAYING HER HUGE COMPLIMENTS, TELLING HER SHE LOOKED INCREDIBLE!
WOULDN’T IT JUST BE PURE MAGIC TO ALWAYS EXIST IN A SPACE THAT EMBRACES AND GENUINELY CELEBRATES PEOPLE JUST AS THEY ARE.
- by EM
