It's ok to change your mind.
‘To shave or not to shave’
- is a body positive project that showcases women who decided to embrace their body hair.
M first interview and a photoshoot was with Mariko Hulme.
Enjoy!
What is your story?
My body hair acceptance is part of accepting my whole body, and also, all the parts of my existence. It's part of me evolving with age as well. The white strands started when I was 8 or 9 when mum would pluck them out as she brushed my hair. They increased in number, and, when I was about 10, I asked her to stop. Although the white/grey hair increased, it would be in my last year of high school when I dyed my hair for the first time. Engrossed in a conservative school with strict grooming rules, I found it difficult to divert too far away from my dark hair, although I was also disappointed that the 'Chocolate' box was not at all obvious I did anything.
When and why have you decided to embrace your natural body hair? Do you still remove your body hair sometimes?
Embracing the natural body hair came gradually, as I got to know others who did. It took me a while to realise that plucking or waxing inflamed the follicles and got many rashes and ingrown hair. I could never figure out how to shave my entire leg, as I always missed patches. When I get too many mosquito bites, I have scabs I need to be careful of, which makes shaving more frequent as I go over the long patch of healed bits. I now try to have the attitude that my body hair is an extension of what's on my head. Sometimes I like getting a style or do extra pampering. Leg hair comes off in the middle of summer to try to cool down. Armpit and pubic hair get too tickly at full length, so I will clip. Part of my fidgeting habit is plucking, when I remember why I shouldn't do that a day or two later scratching the site yet again. I will ruminate for formal occasions, and decide how important it is to conform to expectations depending on the event.
Have you experienced positive or negative comments from friends, family or total strangers? Would you mind sharing them?
I have many but I will share just a few:
1 - In high school, girls had the option of wearing stockings. I had opted for no socks one time, and one of the teachers told me to shave if I was going to pretend to be wearing stockings next time.
2 - A work colleague suggested it was time for me to shave. When I went home, I shaved stripy patterns. The next day I showed it to her, and she laughed saying that's not what she meant. I tried to make it neater during the next few days, but it annoyed me that the shaver I had was too wide and I couldn't do anything too intricate, so I took it all off.
3 - My husband told me I looked like a boy. This was when I chopped my hair super-short for my baby to stop pulling it. He had pulled away a few times when touching my leg with full-length hair.
Why are you taking part in this project?
First of all, I appreciate that people are wanting to make body-positive projects! And something happening close to home I appreciate the opportunity to participate and share! Secondly, it is about the ripple effect of raising awareness, questioning why we do things, and seeing if there are other options. I look forward to reading what others say about their body hair.
What tips could you share with somebody who is wanting to embrace their natural body hair?
Realise and normalise that it's "your body, your choice." Do you like it? Do you REALLY like it, without asking for someone else's opinion?
Notice what your thoughts are during your hair removal time. Is this something you enjoy doing? Are you doing it for someone else? Is there something else you would like to be doing instead?
There are many art and photography of body hair you can view via Google search. Many of these hits will be from Pinterest boards, where you will find plenty more. Have a look to see which images and messages appeal to you.
It's ok to change your mind. Embracing body hair does not mean you never remove or change its length or colour ever again.
An extra question you might like to ask is, what would it be like if you never knew what it is like to have your hair removed? Many people cite the increased sensitivity as an important reason for hair removal. How would you rate the importance of skin sensitivity in your daily life?
~ Mariko Hulme
